Evil children

So, today sucked. Really sucked. I am really struggling with my kids these days and today was a killer day. We seem to have this HUGE problem. My kids gang up on my niece. She's two - only 8 months younger than Baby Boy. Whenever she comes over, my kids morph into these two mean and spiteful children. They won't share. They run around and try to lock my niece out of their room, not including her in what they're doing. It drives both me and my sister mental. It makes me almost sick to my stomach. Why are they like this? What have I done to teach them how to be so awful?

I know part of it is my own insecurities. I had a rough go in junior high and still hold the fear of not being accepted. It is my highest priority to try and teach both of my children to be kind and inclusive. They're pretty good with other kids. Baby Girl has had some issues with letting people in her room before, but that seems to have passed. EXCEPT when it comes to my niece.

So today was awful. We were having a great morning. Nice, quiet, nowhere to go. Baby Girl and Baby Boy were playing great together...for what seemed like hours. Then my niece arrived. I tried to engage them all. A new tactic, instead of letting them play without direct adult contact. I thought it would help to get our day off to a good start. We settled down at the coffee table to do our letters to Santa. And from out of nowhere, Baby Girl spiralled into a hysterical tantrum that lasted for at least 45 minutes. I couldn't figure out the problem. All she did was scream and cry and refuse to let me leave her. When I finally had her settled down, Baby Boy got set off with something...a sharing issue and then he spent 30 minutes in his room screaming at me. Every time I went in to try and console him and see if he was ready to be nice, he threw another fit and tried to hit me.

After lunch, we put my niece downstairs for her afternoon nap and suddenly the two happy children returned. I DON'T GET IT. The words I hate my children ran through my brain. Where has this behaviour come from? What am I doing wrong? I'm starting to think I should find someone else to take care of my kids when my husband and I go to Mexico in January, because I don't want to inflict this torture on my sister for 7 days....especially considering she's about to have a baby any day.

God, please give me strength and patience and some kind of wisdom.

Super Saturday

Sometimes a day comes and goes with positivity written all over it. Yesterday was such a day. It was a busy day, but also included some rare gems of peace. We started the day by helping out at Baby Girl's preschool. It was a work party day so we arrived to help paint the shed, rake the leaves and lay the sod for the new playground. They had a babysitter there so both my husband and I were able to help. Nothing like starting the day with some good karma.

Baby Girl had indoor soccer at noon and we all went along to watch. My husband coached and cheered from the sidelines while Baby Boy and I sat in the viewing area and ate lunch. We returned home and one by one found our way into a wonderful afternoon slumber. First Baby Boy, down for his regular nap. Then my husband curled up on the couch. After an hour of entertaining Baby Girl, I told her I too was going for a sleep and crawled into bed. She rummaged around for another 45 minutes but eventually came and crawled into bed with me. What a treat!

At 5pm we all arose, full of energy and so after some supper (which my husband made) for the kids, I got Baby Boy bathed and set up on the couch with a Thomas video while Baby Girl and I drove into town to go and see "Bee Movie". What a fun girls night out. We came home, I read her a story and she promptly went to bed. No fuss, no fight. My husband and I enjoyed a lovely late dinner together and then curled up on the couch to watch a movie together.

What a blissful day....the joy of it all makes me oblivious to any bickering or tantruming that took place in between the ups of the day.

Oh - and I'll try not to think about the night that followed with my dog waking me up at 1am and then Baby Boy waking me up at 3am, only to arise at 6:30am.

Holiday weekend highs...and a low

You've got to love Canada for all our summer long weekends. It has been a true holiday weekend here - visitors, a party, time at the beach, even some afternoon siesta time. Here's a recap of the highs and one very unfortunate low.

High #1 My best friend from the Big City made the trip out with her 5 year old son (my godson) for the weekend. My kids LOVE this kid and he's the best 5 year old boy ever. It was so great to see them, catch up and take some pics of the kids hanging out together.

High #2
Birthday party bash at my sister's place for my brother-in-law. There were lots of adults and lots of kids. There were enough older kids that they all entertained each other with a game of hide and seek. How great is it that Baby Girl is getting old enough to allow her to just run around and play without 24/7 supervision at these thing? Baby Boy even joined in the fun while his Papa watched over him.

High #3
I wish I had a camera for this one. We were all in the kitchen waiting for my sister to get the banana cream pies ready to sing Happy Birthday. The kids had gathered around the kitchen, but Baby Boy had climbed up on the bench at the kitchen table to watch the preparations. No one was paying him any attention. Then my sister's brother-in-law told me to look over at Baby Boy. There he was crouched right down with his nose at the edge of the pie plate and then casually he just leaned over and took a great big LICK of the whip cream on the top of the pie. Priceless!

High #4
Sunday morning, after a pancake breakfast and my friend had taken off for the day to visit her relatives, my husband corners me in the kitchen and says "why don't I take the kids down to the park for a couple of hours so you can have a nap?" I almost fainted on the spot. Can you say "best husband EVER award"?!!!!

And the low..........

On Saturday night we got home late from the birthday party where we had taken our two German shepherds to play with my sister's two German shepherds (they're all related, crazy - I know). My husband let them in the backyard to go for a pee and we heard lots of barking. I went out in the backyard and saw them cowering in the middle of the yard. I called them up on the deck and surprise, surprise, our dog was wet and STANK LIKE SKUNK. So at midnight, I was driving to 7-11 to buy hydrogen peroxide to make up the miracle mix to de-skunk both dogs. They have spent the rest of the weekend on the deck and have had 2 hose downs so far.

The weekend ahead

This weekend is going to be a turning point for our family. My husband is officially scheduled for a vasectomy tomorrow, and so will end the children in our family. The road to this decision has been a bumpy one. There is sadness in my heart. I still could have gone for one more, would have felt more complete. The reasons are many and most of them make sense only to me, but ultimately ever since Baby Boy was born over two years ago, I've just FELT like I had another baby inside me. This spring has been difficult on our marriage as we've had lots of discussions about how we each felt. Both of us standing firm on opposite ends of the "third baby" bridge. I think both of us were trying to wait each other out, hoping the other would come around to our way of thinking. In the end, I could see that the bridge was actually more like a canyon and it was getting deeper with each conversation. I needed to look closely at the overall decision and decide between my own need for another child and the happiness of my marriage. I realized that I had decided to spend the rest of my life with my husband, not my children who, although at the moment feel like they will never leave my side, will one day pack up and take off to live a life of their own.

So tomorrow is operation day. My weekend will be spent doing what I do every day, caring for the needs and providing entertainment for my two children, while tending to the aches and pains of my husband, who will be lying on the couch watching soccer, I'm sure. As we head into this new part of our lives together, I am trying to focus on what I am thankful for, not what I think would make me happier.

I'm thankful for my husband who is wonderful in so many ways.
I'm thankful for my two beautiful children, even when they drive me insane and that they are both healthy.
I'm thankful for our small town life, the one we chose to live so we could give more of ourselves to our children.
I'm thankful for my friends, who help me talk through my sorrows.
I'm even thankful for my dog, who, despite spending the last 48 hours pacing and panting around the house because of the wind and storms in our town, is an important part of our family - my first baby, in fact.

Family memories

We took our kids camping for the very first time this weekend. Baby Girl is four and Baby Boy is two so obviously we haven't been in a big hurry. I'm not an avid camper, so wasn't eager to pack my infants up and take them to the great outdoors where we would all get dirty and eat lukewarm food for the weekend....unlike a few friends I have who are happy to take their 4-week old baby camping. I digress. This year, we decided we were ready to start. Baby Boy is walking now and ready to run around with his sister. We have the monster 6 man tent - the one you can stand up and have a rave in, so we were set for space. The rest of the gear is pretty minimal, but we decided to hook up with a couple other families and go out together to share in meals and gear. Our ambitions were low. Our destination only 20 minutes out of town to a local family campground.

It was great. There were three families - all three with a four year old and two year old. The kids all got along well. You know, there were the odd "moments" of sharing wars or "you're not my friend anymore" but for the most part the kids played well. On more than one occasion, all six adults sat down at the picnic table and ate a meal together. We all relaxed our bedtime routines and the kids went to bed fairly easy given some extra time to run around. Once in bed, the adults reverted to our own youthful selves, drinking copious amounts of alcohol, burning large cardboard boxes, talking about who our "top three men/women to sleep with" would be. We spent hours down at the beach, playing in the sand, reading trashy magazines, cooling off in the lake. The hardest part has been coming home. We're all exhausted, dirty, hot and cranky. It's pizza for supper tonight - no meal preparation for these parents. But the cranky kids at home is well worth the weekend of fun. Camping is definitely on our family to do list now. Amazing what getting out of town only 20 minutes down the road can do for family bonding.