Thursday Thirteen - 13 countries I've visited

Well, next week I'll be on holiday....from life. My husband and I are packing up and thanks to my mother will be going away for 5 nights down to Las Vegas to bask in the heat and enjoy some solo time. On top of that, this weekend I am going to a Buddha Mom retreat with my Mom and sister to a nearby backcountry lodge. I'm hoping to center myself for the couple of days of parenthood between the weekend retreat and the high road to Vegas. More than anything, I'm actually really excited to get away from my computer. I'm addicted and overworked so the best thing is to get me right away from the bloody thing to relax and get rid of the stupid cough I've picked up.

In preparation for our travels, here's a list of 13 countries I've visited....

1. Canada - I've only made it as far as Quebec City, but hope to see the East coast one day.

2. United States - mostly the Western States, but did enjoy an expense paid trip to Florida with Mark's work one year.

3. Mexico - travel before and after kids on this one.

4. Fiji - first stop on my world adventures.

5. Cook Islands - glorious honeymoon

6. Australia - touched every coast except the Northern one.

7. England - this one will keep drawing us back to visit friends and family.

8. Germany - dear to my heart after my exchange student experience.

9. France - Paris - one of my favorite places and many other great stops.

10. Switzerland - a stop to visit friends on our European adventure

11. Austria - beautiful mountains, kind of remind of home now

12. Ireland - will definitely go back to enjoy the winding roads and friendly people

13. Spain - loved Barcelona, hated Madrid

Distractions

So I'm stressed out....and feel like I'm burning out. Last fall I decided it was time to step outside of my SAHM bubble and do some volunteering. I joined a local board and thought it would be a good way for me to connect with some people on a working level. As per my personality, I jumped in with two feet and my entire torso. It was a pretty laid back group, as per our small town locale and my eagerness allowed me to take on lots. Three months ago I was feeling a bit overwhelmed. I was in charge of fundraising and not getting much support, but it felt great to be doing grown-up things again.

AND THEN SHIT HIT THE FAN. Without getting into details, our Executive Director resigned and the Board is trying to hold things together while recruiting a new person for the job. And guess who's the go-to-girl, overseer of almost everything? ME. Why? Because everyone is busy and many people are slackers and I hate the thought of dropping the ball. The hardest part is that with every task that needs to be done, there seems to be 10 issues to resolve. Not a pretty picture.

So I'm stressed out. I'm not sleeping well. I'm spending way too much time on the computer doing "work" and not enough time being relaxed with my kids. My urge to write isn't even there, because I spend so much time responding to emails. It sucks. Thank goodness I have a VERY VERY VERY supportive and understanding husband and I have a whole week of vacation without my kids in the very near future when I will have no choice but to walk away and not think about any of it.

On a happy note, I have successfully motivated myself to go to the gym. I've been to three classes so far and swam several times while Baby Girl has been doing lessons. I've even successfully made it through the caffeine headache and given up my Coke Slurpee habit. My body is incredibly achy....but it feels great!

Thursday Thirteen - 13 things I love about my husband

In celebration of our 7th wedding anniversary this weekend, I thought I should focus my energy on all the things I love about my husband. It's been a crazy 7 years. He's still the love of my life!

The list is longer than 13, but here's some highlights!

1. He's got an English accent. I may not hear it as much anymore, but is sure is cute when I do catch wind of an especially "English" sounding word.

2. He rubs my feet almost every time I ask.

3. He lets me sleep in more often than not. When we used to have to get up around the same time for work he always used to let me have the second shower because he said I was a better person for the extra 10 minutes.

4. He cleans the dog run and takes out the garbage.

5. He is patient....oh so patient, in so many different ways.

6. He lets me pack up our kids on a whim to hit the road when the mood strikes me. He's happy to let us trek across the mountains when I feel the need for some big city friend time and retail therapy.

7. Better yet, while we're gone, he cleans the house!

8. The best thing is that he cooks and cooks well. My health really would suffer if he didn't do some cooking every week.

9. He recently let me buy very expensive sunglasses. I don't ask for much in the way of shopping, but when I do, he's always happy to let me spend.

10. He has a great farmer's tan. His left arm is especially tanned from driving around in his car all summer!

11. He loves my family and all their craziness.

12. He calls to ask if I want a slurpee on the way home from work....always thinking of me and my stress levels.

13. He has the greatest laugh when you really get him laughing. If you've heard it, you know the one I'm talking about.

Disillusioned

I never expected parenting to be so difficult. These past few weeks especially, I find myself wandering through my SAHM days, unmotivated and frustrated. Little things set me off and I struggle to find joy in the little moments when it seems like at every turn there is a tantrum to diffuse or displining to be done. The days are a blur. They all feel the same. Get up, breakfast, outing, lunch, quiet time, dinner, bedtime. By the time the kids are tucked into bed, my energy level is refreshed and I am ready for an evening of adult activity. Invariably I'm met with a husband who falls asleep at 8:30pm while we're watching TV and so I face the rest of the evening alone. I can't go to bed, I'm not tired. If I lie my head down, my mind only races. Either that or my frustration level soars with the sounds of snoring echoing in my ears. I know time is slipping through my fingers. My kids are young for such a short period of time, but I'm feeling worn down and tired.

I think about making a change. Maybe going back to work would be the answer. But I am quick to remind myself that most of what I do now (meals, laundry, house cleaning, etc) would still need to be done, just with less time as I would be working instead of at home. I also challenge myself to remember that the whole reason we downsized and moved to a small town was so that one of us could be at home. I don't know the answer.

I'm trying to keep positive. There is 5 days in Vegas on the horizon, just me and my husband. And a "mother's retreat" the weekend before that with just my sister and my mother. September will be busy with new activities. Baby Girl starts preschool and I am trying to motivate myself to get going on a better exercise program. There will be time to just "be" with Baby Boy. Something we haven't really had yet in his 2.5 years. In no time it will be Christmas and we'll be covered in snow, wishing for summer.

Dear Bed and Slumber

Dear Bed and Slumber,

I miss you. As I hurry through my day, I often think longingly of our time together and wish I could find a way to spend more time in your embrace. I think about when I was younger, when I wasn't driven by responsibility and obligations. A time when I could succumb to your call. We spent so much time together before these little people took over my life. I remember living in England, returning home from work and falling into you, pulling the duvet high over my shoulders and releasing the stress of the day to Slumber, waking hours later to eat and spend the evening in quiet. I remember weekends when my husband and I owned our first home, when we would sneak away in the afternoons to snuggle up like spoons and sleep the afternoon away, awaking refreshed and ready to take on our evening's activities at the pub.

Our time together is few and far between these days. Afternoon naps are rare and even when the opportunity presents itself, my ear must remain alert to stirrings and sounds throughout the house. Nighttime isn't even a sure bet anymore. My mind works overtime to process the day and the rumble beside me often keeps me awake and frustrated, forcing me out of your grasp to a cold and uncomfortable couch to find sleep. Invariably the nights are broken with a late night visitor looking for company in the bathroom or to be tucked in after a bad dream. The mornings arrive quickly and I struggle to remove your warmth to take on another day. My body screams for more time, but the voices and faces beside my bed are louder and more persistent. Little ones are not to be ignored.

And so I thought it important to write to you. To let you know that our time is not forgotten. I long for our reaquaintance but I know that life will keep us from my desired state.

Forever yours.

Holiday weekend highs...and a low

You've got to love Canada for all our summer long weekends. It has been a true holiday weekend here - visitors, a party, time at the beach, even some afternoon siesta time. Here's a recap of the highs and one very unfortunate low.

High #1 My best friend from the Big City made the trip out with her 5 year old son (my godson) for the weekend. My kids LOVE this kid and he's the best 5 year old boy ever. It was so great to see them, catch up and take some pics of the kids hanging out together.

High #2
Birthday party bash at my sister's place for my brother-in-law. There were lots of adults and lots of kids. There were enough older kids that they all entertained each other with a game of hide and seek. How great is it that Baby Girl is getting old enough to allow her to just run around and play without 24/7 supervision at these thing? Baby Boy even joined in the fun while his Papa watched over him.

High #3
I wish I had a camera for this one. We were all in the kitchen waiting for my sister to get the banana cream pies ready to sing Happy Birthday. The kids had gathered around the kitchen, but Baby Boy had climbed up on the bench at the kitchen table to watch the preparations. No one was paying him any attention. Then my sister's brother-in-law told me to look over at Baby Boy. There he was crouched right down with his nose at the edge of the pie plate and then casually he just leaned over and took a great big LICK of the whip cream on the top of the pie. Priceless!

High #4
Sunday morning, after a pancake breakfast and my friend had taken off for the day to visit her relatives, my husband corners me in the kitchen and says "why don't I take the kids down to the park for a couple of hours so you can have a nap?" I almost fainted on the spot. Can you say "best husband EVER award"?!!!!

And the low..........

On Saturday night we got home late from the birthday party where we had taken our two German shepherds to play with my sister's two German shepherds (they're all related, crazy - I know). My husband let them in the backyard to go for a pee and we heard lots of barking. I went out in the backyard and saw them cowering in the middle of the yard. I called them up on the deck and surprise, surprise, our dog was wet and STANK LIKE SKUNK. So at midnight, I was driving to 7-11 to buy hydrogen peroxide to make up the miracle mix to de-skunk both dogs. They have spent the rest of the weekend on the deck and have had 2 hose downs so far.

Thursday Thirteen - 13 cool trips I've been on

I've been reading some blogs of friends who are not leading a mommy life and include exciting travels around the globe. So I felt inspired to remind myself of the travels I've enjoyed....here's 13 of the best trips I've been on.....

1. Family bike trip from Frank's Slide, AB to Cranbrook up to Golden and back to Calgary. Three kids (16, 14, 13), two parents, one tent trailer and 5 bikes. The kids got to ride the Canadian Tire 10 speeds, while Mom and Dad got the new mountain bikes. My brother and I rode almost the whole way. We still have stupid little songs from that trip that we sing to each other...."come on little sister" and "du bist ein verlorner". Family bonding 101.

2. Berlin Germany 1989, before the wall fell. It's pretty cool to think that I have a picture of myself against the Brandenburger Gate when it still divided West and East Berlin. I was 16, on an exchange program to Germany. Pretty eerie to walk the wall and see armed guards. Even crazier when the wall fell only a couple of months later. The whole exchange program trip was pretty cool too.

3. Vancouver road trip 1992. Four girls in a station wagon on a road trip from Calgary to Vancouver. The highlight being one night at "The Roxy" (how cliche) in Vancouver - lots for drinks and a late night down at Kits beach.

4. Puerto Vallarta, Mexico - New Year's Eve 1995. Three girls on a holiday to Mexico. Roaming the streets, drinking margaritas in a bar owned by Calgarians. Lots of really silly pictures.

5. Mount St. Helen's Volcano on the 15th anniversary of its eruption - 1995. A fluke really, but what great timing. A last minute pit stop on a 7000km road trip with a guy friend through Montana, Utah, Arizona, Nevada, Oregon, Washington, Vancouver/Whistler and back to Calgary. I think we spent more time driving in the car than we did actually seeing anything. Good times though - a great way to celebrating graduating university.

6. Some remote bay on the island of Vanau Levu, Fiji. This one has lots of crazy stories. My girl friend and I were trying to find a friend of my uncle's where we were going to stay for a few days. We ended up having to take a ferry from one island to another, where we had to stay overnight in a local family's home because there was no accommodation, so we could take another smaller ferry BACK to a remote bay on the first island where there were two houses and no sign of people when the boat dropped us off and left again. Talk about naive travellers. But what a great couple of days we had once the people showed up!

7. Fraser Island, Australia - July 1996. The moon rose up over the Pacific Ocean. A dingo watched two backpackers' first kiss. It was love and still is.

8. Sydney, Australia - New Years Eve 1996. Nothing beats the fireworks over the Harbour Bridge in Sydney. My first NYE with my hubby.

9. Paris, middle of a heat wave, summer 1997. I fell in love with Paris on this visit. A romantic jaunt through the Chunnel while living in England. We walked and walked and walked. We did not go to the Louvre, but we did climb the steps of the Eiffel Tower. The heat did us in though. My husband suffered temporary insanity while waiting in line for his Big Mac and melted down when he got the wrong ice cream at the foot of the Sacre Coure.

10. London, England. A few different experiences here. A night of too many cocktails at the Long Island Ice Tea Bar (perhaps an early indicator of my soon to be life without alcohol) with my sister who came to visit for reading week. Another visit with two girl friends included a very expensive cab ride to get us from the bus station to our executive apartment and to the theatre district to see Jesus Christ Superstar in time. My husband had to fend off a thug one time when he was taking my picture in Piccadilly Circus - the guy came up to him and said "give me a quid or I'll punch you in the face". Needless to say, he gave him a pound.

11. Amsterdam on Queen's Day - April 30, 1998. My husband and I booked our European adventure and randomly picked the busiest day of the year - the Queen's Day holiday - to arrive in Amsterdam. The day is celebrated with everyone selling their household junk on the streets and anything left over is just left for the city to clean up. Talk about a dirty introduction to a dirty (wink, wink) city. Thankfully we had Dutch hosts who secured a hotel for us to stay in and gave us the city tour.

12. Cook Islands, 2000. What a fantastic honeymoon. A long way from home. Sunshine. White sandy beaches. Newlyweds.

13. Las Vegas, 2005. Girls trip to Vegas. 4 days away from the responsibilities of motherhood and life. What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas, right?